Tell You What, Pup

Canine oh canine!! I been out on the trail all day, and I'll tell you what, pup. These humans are killin' me!! Soon as I get done soakin' 'em, we'll have us some foot long hot humans, with relish. MMMMM, pup!!

Separated at Birth: The Stunning Return

Back in 2005 on the Listening Party, we did a post about celebrity genetic matches. Not all celebrities want to ride on the coat tails of their elder family members on their way to stardom. They prefer to go their own way and claim a stake with their own talents, rather than "using the family name".

It has been suggested that a young Billy Corgan chose to make his own way and rather than use his famous father's name, and went with a stage name instead. This decision may have served him well as his musical career has far out lasted Conrad's "Mork" fame.


We now have evidence geneticly linking one Don Dokken to both Bruce Jenner AND to Gary "Fucking Nuts" Busey.

Click to enlarge both images and judge for yourself. We think the proof is in the (genetic) pudding.

(=spoo) (=jizz)

Death's Sweet Seduction

A dandy shirt with a dandy title with lots of dandy green.

It's war, motherfuckers.

First of all, Cingular/AT&T makes a commercial with a dude wearing a Motorhead shirt and because he doesn't have AT&T, he doesn't have enough bars to get the call about getting Motorhead tickets and then he sings a bit of Ace Of Spades.

(Side note - AT&T may allegedly have the most bars and all of that other bullshit but when a gent is in a highly populated area of Nashville, Tennessee--not exactly BF Egypt--and doesn't get low signal but instead gets NO service, I think they can take that more bars donkey shit and shove it up their ass sideways.)

It kills my soul that a shoddy service uses such coolness in their adverts and Verizon uses that dipshit and his network army following him around like a flock of sheep. It's just not right, I tell you. It's...just...not...right.

That upset, and continues to upset, me greatly. The only thing that can save the world now is to have the gents in Motorhead themselves shoot a Verizon commercial in my office (where I am the only one to get reliable cell phone reception) in front of my very own Motorhead poster. Instead of that stupid ass "Can you hear me now?" crapola, Motorhead can say "We are Motorhead...and you won't have any trouble hearing us" and procede to tear the roof off the motherfucker. I'll have a cameo role featuring me sobbing tears of joy and pointing in a fanboy fashion.

So if that AT&T shit isn't bad enough, I was emailed this link today and after viewing it, I had a little bit of vomit in the back of my throat. When those bitches in American Idol start singing a song by my beloved Cheap Trick, it's war.



It's bad enough that those lightweight posers are making a mockery of the music industry itself, but don't fuck with the good shit (even if it is an overplayed warhorse of a song). Just leave the things I like alone and I will do my absolute best to stifle my complete loathing for anything and everything American Idol-related.

I've said it before and I will say it again. Anytime Paula fuckin' Adbul is a barometer of "musical talent", it's a sign of the end times. You can take that shit to the fuckin' bank, baby.

ThreadlessDotCom Packaging

Threadless.com knows me SOOOOO well.

My first order from Threadless.com came in today!! Me like!!

A Post for OG.

http://mp3ornot.com/


*I* got it right. :P

Bloggerific, "The Chase", virtual oil on digitized aged paper, 2008

Hallelujah!

LISTEN.

It's borderline shocking when the media acknowledges true artists and not some trend of the moment hack who sells a shitpot of albums only to find them flooding the used CD market when said trend rots away. I would find it hellaciously funny if it didn't mean having my own musical morale diminished by wading through oceans of shit to get to the good stuff.

One of the finest songwriters to reach my ears in recent years is a gent named Michael Dean Damron. If you've read YPS!! or the neglected redheaded stepchild, The Listening Party, then chances are somewhat good that you've heard me rambling on and on about Mike D's solo work and with I Can Lick Any Sonofabitch In The House.

Quite often, I feel sort of like I've been pissing in the wind and speaking to deaf ears when I recommend artists. Most people seem to only care about those musicians who have been officially annointed by radio, video stations (assuming they still play music videos on TV), or some other lame ass svengali.

All of that aside, THIS is the best news that I've heard in ages. There was actually a bit of happiness welling up in my blackened heart when I read about it. If you've made it this far in my fanboy banter, then the least you can do is click the link and take a little more time to LISTEN to the song. If you like what you hear, you can learn more about the man's work in a variety of places:

The Official Website
MySpace (with additional songs for your entertainment)

And you can reward your ears, by ordering CDs at the ultra nifty CD Baby and simultaneously support a worthwhile artist who makes a living making and performing music that matters without a major record company pumping cash into the cause.


(and no, I'm not on the man's payroll and in no way benefit from sales)

Holiday Greetings from YPS!!

Happy Benito Juarez's birthday to you and yours!!

(take the gent's birthday and make it a good Friday)

*Thinks You Should Buy Some of These Cool Shirts*

http://www.threadless.com/


[Oh, gawd, he did it in a title!!]

Nabisco No Sucky

Ole Cap' 'Roo's Picture Pages These Ain't

But, a big YPS!! saaaaaa-luuuute to Ole Cap' 'Roo, Bill Cosby and Mortimer Ichabod.

Feel free to print and color, boys and girls!! And, if you like orange, you're done!!

WTF?

Revisiting the procedure for proper toilet use.

Jazz with the Arts League of Michigan - LIVE webcast - March 15th

Be there, or be so terribly square.

UPDATED X TWO: Your Ringtone Packaging SUCKS!! GOOD. GAWD.

Ringtone Expiration Worm

If I had any sort of programming knowledge for cell phones, which I don’t, I would sit down and write a worm that would spread from phone to phone and filter ringtones on cell phones everywhere. The worm would follow the following protocol:

1. If the ringtones on your phone have fallen into the “gay” ringtone category: Automatic deletion. Period.
2. If the ringtones on your phone were placed there by default: Automatic deletion. Period.
3. If the ringtones on your phone were downloaded to your phone by free Oprah giveaways: Automatic deletion. Period (yes, even the Osmonds)
4. If the ringtones on your phone are older than 1 year: Automatic deletion, within certain guidelines as put in place by the self-appointed Ringtone Police; Bone Machine and Mr. Bloggerific Himself
5. If the ringtones on your phone have “rung” more than twice during business hours for a 3 month period: Automatic deletion. Period. Over-saturation is not allowed or tolerated.
6. If the ringtones on your phone are distorted when played: Automatic volume adjustment, or automatic deletion, as required.
7. If the ringtones on your phone become an earwig: Automatic deletion. Period.
8. If you repeatedly leave your MOBILE cell phone on your desk when you are not present to answer the phone within the first ring: No less than 4 lightening bolt shocks to your groin will be applied for each and every offence.
9. NEW: The "Kcinnova Rule": If you have to ask about your ringtones: Automatic deletion (with special a YPS!! Saaaaa-luuuuute to all newcomers.)
10. 
    

On a completely unrelated note: I have learned It takes a full sixteen minutes to ride my bike from my house to my Mom and Dad's house in after 5pm traffic. It might take only 14 if the darn church (what? I said "darn") hadn't put a fence behind their building causing me to go over a nicely sized hill. Thank you Google Earth!

That's It!! I CAN'T TAKE IT!! I SENT THE LETTER!!

I just had to. I just couldn't handle it anymore, folks. *sniff*

The voice had changed for awhile, but now HE's back. "The Voice Of R&D Communications" is back. Some of you may recall my issues with Mr. Sleepy, at the local Time and Temp service: 270-685-6111

Well, I finally hit print, (yes, all this time later) labeled an envelope, and stamped the sucker. This little bad boy is going to meet up with Tim the Mailman and go through the mail system where it will end up literally a half a block from my house. (Thankfully I thought ahead and used that fancy ship stamp, what with the long journey and all.)

Once there, I'm sure the receptionist will giggle at the addressed envelope as she passes it on to Mr. Sleepy. Hopefully Mr. Sleepy will get a kick out of the letter and actually act on the suggestions within.

Again, thank you for your time (and temp).

[Notice: No sheep were harmed in the making of this post.]

Not Labeled For Individual Retail Sale

Come on, folks!! Let's get the feedbag on!! MMMMMM!

Culture swoops on Owensboro.

Black Crowes
Owensboro Sportscenter
Owensboro, KY
March 08, 2008

Wounded Bird

Sting Me

Goodbye Daughters of the Revolution

Ballad in Urgency > Jam >Wiser Time

Walk Believer Walk

44 Blues > Jam

High Head Blues

Sometimes Salvation

Movin' On Down The Line

Thorn In My Pride > Jam > Drums > Harp/Drums > Jam > Thorn In My Pride

God's Got It

Remedy

Encore:

She Talks To Angels

Jealous Again

We Gots Us Some Snow, Ya'll!!

Joffrey's Beta Coffee Test Scores MMMM At YPS!!

I ran across my first ever "coffee beta test" recently. I've only been aware of beta testing software, so this was a new idea for me and thought what the hell.

Basically, Joffrey's Coffee was asking blog participants to register their blog address with their beta test site in order to initiate the test. I did. We managed to get YPS!! linked and I received an email letting me know I could expect a free sample in the mail. Honestly I thought, "yeah, right". You know how it is - in today's world of rebates and freebies in the mail, it's hard to believe you're actually going to get anything.

I can't remember how long ago I signed up, but it seems like it was just a few days ago, so naturally I was shocked to find COFFEE in my mailbox yesterday. (Also pleasantly pleased that another company in the world has, in their customer database, the name "Mr. Bloggerific Himself" listed.)(Well, that and the fact that Tim the Mailman probably had a "WTF?" moment himself.)

The white envelope the package of coffee was mailed in, wasn't particularly pleasing to the eye, but above is a photo of the actual product packaging. (Sorry for the cell phone quality.) Not too bad. Not too shabby at all in fact. The only negative comment I can make about the packaging is that it allowed this WUNNERFUL aroma to be released into my home. Folks, I like coffee. I like good smelling coffee. It's very hard for me not to have any if I'm near it, but it was close to my bedtime and DAMN this smelled so nice.

I remembered I'd already prepared the Braun coffee maker for the following morning's coffee and decided I'd just wait until the weekend to try it. At that moment I inhaled (what? I gotta breathe don't I!?) and said, "BULLshit! I'm dumping that (replace with other coffee brand name) right back in the tub, 'cause, Jamaican Me Crazy, baby!! And I did. I left the water and the timer ready to go, but I dumped the other (replace with other coffee brand name) right back in the tub and replaced it with Joffrey's.

Mistake. BIG mistake. I woke up no less than 3 times during the night to the lovely aroma of wunnerfully smelling coffee that had yet to be made. Mmmm. Sweat dreams indeedy!

This morning I heard the beep, beep, beep that is my Braun coffee maker alerting me to the fact that yes, the coffee was ready for consumption. I told the dog to get the hell out, it was time for COFFEE!!

After all that, while I was pouring my first cup I thought, "This will suck and I'm going to be so pissed."


Suck, it did NOT.


Thank you Joffrey's for the beta testing idea. Thanks for the sample. Thanks for the vision of one of your employee's wondernig what a "Bloggerific" is as they read it in your contact database. Thanks for the wunnerful aroma throughout my entire home. And thank you for this wunnerful ly rich yet not overpowering flavor I am experiencing right at this very moment. Joffrey's, your packaging does....NOT....suck!!

[Also, Joffrey's, if that is in fact your product that I TWICE did not buy whilst vacationing in Branson, MO at that wunnerful Mountain Man Nut Factory...well, I am an idiot. But see, the first time I'd spent my cashola at the Amish store there, and this last time I was trying to surprise Dad with a fruitcake. But next time? Hah! SCREW the Amish!! SCREW Dad AND his FRUITCAKE baby!! I'ma gonna get me some fricken coffee all for my wittle self!! Hot damn!! Can I get an Amen?! Percalate me, I'm done!!]

Amazon.com Does Not Have Packaging That Sucks

In an order I recieved today at the office, from Amazon.com, was this self-addressed postage paid mailer. A darn good idea. I don't have a cell phone I'm willing to give up, but I bet there are some around the office here somewhere. www.cellphonesforsoldiers.com

A warm YPS!! saaaaaa-luuuuute to 13-year-old Brittany Bergquist and her 12-year-old brother Robbie of Norwell, Massachusetts. Well done.

Some of the oddball shit one sees in Kentucky

When you live in Kentucky, you don't even have to make shit up to make it seem surreal or out there. On my Monday travels, I got behind a vehicle that was apparently hauling mattress, box springs and whatever else a person can shove in the back of a pickup truck.

I was a little confused why there was a gent riding on the payload, but I no longer ask questions. I just go along with things, because one question leads to more questions and walk away just as confused as if I had asked nary a question in the first place.

I'm not sure if there was no room in the cab of the truck, if the dude was weighing things down so they didn't blow into the windshield of the suave gent riding behind this circus on wheels, if the driver picked up a drunk and/or dead hitchhiker, or if it was a dramatic, vehicular reenactment of "The Princess & The Pea." I saw the shit before my own bespectacled optical orbs and I am just as confused as you, the faithful YPS!! patron.

And no, I don't know if he was wearing his seatbelt.







We inherited some extra space in the workplace and when I went to take a look-see, I found this major award among the debris. I'm not sure if it was a Pinhead of the Year award or something to do with bowling. Regardless, I put a note to those folks cleaning out this area in hopes that if they intend to simply throw it away that I would like it for my office. Such an award requires a classy place to display it. I bring the class and sophistication to the workplace. I've got the rotten pumpkins to prove it.











THIS JUST IN!!

We Are, YPS!!

"Giving Readers Spine-Breaking Ejaculatory Responses Since 1552."

THIS Serious About Sucky Packaging, II

Staying on the cutting edge of vulgarity.

Every so often, the YPS!! staff feels the need to update the classic vulgar-speak that we all know and love with some new shit. It is with great pride that we roll a new phrase off of the showroom floor and onto your monitor...

Six pack of fuck.

Use it in good health and make it simply smutacious.

!!!