What Are You Waiting For?! Buy one!

Shit, or get off the pot already!

http://www.thebrowncorporation.com/

Who ARE Those Guys?!

Glitter & Doom: Tom Waits in St. Louis 6/26/08

TOM WAITS

Fabulous Fox Theatre

St. Louis, Missouri

June 26, 2008

Lucinda

Way Down In The Hole

Falling Down

Black Market Baby

All The World Is Green

Heigh Ho

Get Behind The Mule

Day After Tomorrow

Cemetery Polka

Hang Down Your Head

A Little Rain

Lucky Day

Johnsburg, IL

Lost In The Harbour

Make It Rain

Lie To Me

On The Other Side Of The World

Singapore

Dirt In The Ground

What's He Building?

16 Shells

Rain Dogs

Goin' Out West

Anywhere I Lay My Head

Innocent When You Dream

Misc. Debris...

Closer shot of the marquee.

The prairie didn't look burnt to me, but there's no truth in advertising these days. Maybe the burnt portion is over the hill.

St. Jimmy's autograph in the restroom of a Bob Evans in Mt. Vernon, Illinois

A wonderful vacation spot.

"Roll 'em up." --Clark W. Griswald

McDonald's ain't got shit on this arch.

A Colored Past

He may have led a colored past, but he died doing what he loved best - trying to paint the town red in a world that called him "yellow". He would have wanted it this way. A vibrant color he was, said to have come from a family of 64 siblings and never needed a sharpening a day in his life. Some say it was genetics, others would claim it was injection molding that made him the color he was. Regardless, he left his indelible mark upon the world. In his youth, it has been said, he spent a few days in elementary school classrooms, being called upon to shine bright as the sun on a child's first drawing. Later he would make his quick and hasty exit in the grubby hands of Ethan, a Punk-ass Motherfucker. It was there, in Ethan's lair, that he would learn the tricks of the trade of public defacement. OH, how he longed to do tagging with the big boys, but spraying just wasn't in his nature. It just wasn't who he was. He was, at heart, a Crayola. He was born that way, and that's how he met his melting end - on the hot steaming pavement, just outside of a Chinese restaurant, leaving little more than a shred of his clothing, and a wet greasy spot.

Color on, dear Crayon, color on!! We shall look upon each rising, and setting, sun with you in mind. No VW Beetle shall ever be so bold as you, Little Wonder. No submarine shall ever shine as you did.

Now, fly on, up to the coloring pages of the Heavens and make with the beauty already. Lord knows we need it. Our tears may be periwinkle blue, but our hearts are crimson.

*sniffs*

George Carlin, 1937 - 2008

Just about the first thing I heard this morning when the clock radio woke me up was the news that George Carlin had died. For my money, George Carlin was about the funniest man out there and probably second only to Richard Pryor for making me laugh just shy of passing out due to lack of oxygen and/or spontaneous, unplanned urination. Thankfully for me, neither of those things ever happened, but damned if it wasn't close a time or two. I never got to see Richard Pryor live, but I was fortunate enough to see George Carlin live twice and even at that point in his career, he was able to deliver the goods and then some.

Rather than blabber on what a comedic genius the man was and how me made me laugh, I figure it's best to let the man do some of the talking.

Stuff.

Have a nice day!

In closing, since YPS!! is a proud profane zone, I will just say shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits. You can, too. It's fun. Do it for George.

The plastic bastard has arrived...

and apparently it has made the bananas pick up the pace toward spoilage.


REJOICE!

There's smut on the rise...

and I like it.

This gives me hope for better days ahead.

You Heard Him. Give It To Him!!

Reduced To 24 Tracks

Over the years it's occurred to me that many of my memories have songs attached to them. I'd considered making a soundtrack of sorts to acknowledge these songs and memories, and finally got around to doing so recently. It didn't take long to realize I would have WAY too many tracks to fit on one CD, but I realized it would be a struggle to get my family to listen to even one CD much less a box set. So I chose a cut-off point. Middle School seemed to be the perfect point to end this first CD because those were the years that Rock N Roll came into my life. Listed below are the tunes that made the cut, and they go all the way up to just before High School.

Anyway, the folks have a copy and each sibling now has a copy. It's amazing what conversations this one CD has spawned. One of my co-workers is even going to make her own soundtrack.

So there's the seed, run with it and make your own soundtrack. I also included 3 pages of notes about the songs and the memories that go along with each and every song. Not that it's all that thrilling or exciting of a read, just that these were the things going through my mind concerning those songs. Heck, one of the songs attached to memories of Mom and Dad happens to be the ringtone I hear each time they call.



Song; Performer
Goodnight, Irene (also known as Irene, Goodnight); The Weavers
Jeepers Creepers; Louis Armstrong
Wasted Days and Wasted Nights; Freddy Fender
Charlie Brown; The Coasters
Coal Miner's Daughter; Loretta Lynn
Two Dollars and a Jukebox; Eddie Rabbit
Kentucky Woman; Neil Diamond
King of the Whole Wide World; Elvis
Smokey Mountain Rain; Ronnie Milsap
Act Naturally; Buck Owens
Speed Racer Theme
James Bond Theme
Slow Ride; Foghat
Jessie's Girl; Rick Springfield
The Pink Panther Theme; Henry Mancini
Rock N Roll All; Nite Kiss
Rapper's Delight; Sugarhill Gang
Rag Mop; Ames Brothers
Jack and Diane; John Cougar
Just the Way You Are; Billy Joel
Rockaria!; ELO
Cotton Fields; Creedence Clearwater Revival
Good Vibrations; Beach Boys
Goodnight, Irene; Lead Belly

Giant Preying Mantis Kills Pedestrian In Front of Local Library

A new chapter in murderous insecticous deadicous today is apparent. The incident occurred shortly after an exchange of words between the violently jealous mantis and a lovestruck bookworm. A passerby tried to intervene, and the result is displayed above for all to see.


Shocking footage to follow.

TV that I want to see...

I've taken my share of shots (and probably some of yours too) at the current state of television programming countless times in recent years. I wasn't raised in a household where television was taboo. We liked our TV and we used it. In my youth, my main source of tanning was likely from the glow of a television set. Probably not, but work with me here. I'm talking shit for I am a shit-talker. It's what I do.

As I've obviously become a grumpy old man, I've realized that most television programming is apparently aimed at the lowest common denominator of the human existence. When a show tries to get funny or dramatic (it really does not matter which path they choose), you can typically see the punchline or the plot twist coming from a mile away. The punchlines are rarely funny and the twists are rarely all that dramatic. Basically, it's just a bunch of crap.

If it's not some kind of insane competition, it's a police drama, court room drama, hospital drama, or situation comedy. It occurred to me that instead of bitching about the shit that I should offer the industry some help in kick-starting some new ideas for their shows. I'm offering my help out of the goodness of my heart and of course, a stout percentage of the take. I'm simultaneously generous and greedy like that. That's just how I roll.

I am now offering up what could possibly be the first installment of television programs that I would like to see...

1) As a great philosopher (okay, it was me) once said, "There's a fine line between dancing and having a seizure. To the untrained eye, they look about the same." Since "Dancing With The Stars" has had some level of success, I think it would be cool to do a spin-off called "Seizures With The Stars." For folks that really dig the dancing, it wouldn't be that big of a hop, skip and a jump to the Seizures. As creator of SWTS, I could even do a guest appearance where they force me into watching the dancing show (non-Soul Train) until I have my own seizure and the celebrity panel could then judge my, well, seizing. I know that I would tune in to this kind of thing, but then again, I'm not right.

2) Another spin-off, which is currently untitled, would be very similar to American Idol. Rather than coming storming out of the gate with cutting edge shit, we've got to lull the current audience away with better viewing. Make it a "musical" competition and about the time someone begins to sing a tune, they will get whacked in the throat with a hockey stick...repeatedly. The kicker is that they can only sing show tunes. This will bring in the stereotypical gay crowd as well as hockey fans. Since AI brought in a talentless hack like Paula Abdul to judge musical ability, I would chose someone like the Nickelback singer (since the Creed bitch's stardom has seemingly went bye-bye...thank you, Jesus!) or maybe Kanye West.

3) So you're saying "Bone, how about a game show?" Sure, I got your game show right here. Forget that tired ass "Wheel Of Fortune" thing, I want to buy their set and maybe keep Vanna, but get folks with Tourette's Syndrome, sailors, and Vulgarians such as myself to make up the puzzles. The show will be called "Wheel Of Filth" and believe me, folks, it will be filthy. There may even be verbal abuse anytime someone misses an obvious puzzle. I'd like to get Pat Boone to be host just because I want to hear him say obnoxious and profane phrases on the T and V. Call it a dream.

4) The Vulgar Chef. Quite frankly, I am surprised that the Food Network hasn't jumped all over this one. It just seems so obvious. This idea came to me while having a particular frustrating time in the kitchen and as one of my vulgar outbursts filled the air, I realized that this kind of thing is a more accurate view of the culinary process than what we have seen on TV over the years. I would like to get a chef's hat that looks more like a mushroom cloud and let rip. It's not about the food. It's about the vulgarity. Theoretically, this idea would have been much funnier with Julia Child (God rest her soul), but what the hell, what else do I have to do with my time? Not much.

Maybe I am completely insane (pretty much, yes), but if a disengaged jackass like myself would tune in to such "Must-see TV" then by jingle, surely there are a few other social deviants that would fire up the tube to check out the carnage and smut. I've got to work up some ideas involving nudity and maybe explosives.

To be continued as my interest allows...

Weeee!

two thumbs up

I don't really watch that many movies these days. Let's get that out in the open right away. Most of them lean towards the boring and for whatever reason, I just don't have a lot of interest in investing the time to watch them. That's not to say that they're bad, but I'm perfectly okay flying under the radar of mainstream television programming, the New York Times best seller list, Hollywood blockbusters, and top 40 music.

Occasionally, something comes along that puts a sizable blip on my radar and gets my attention. Although most television programming is some kind of competition where even the winners are losers and in a perfect world, anyone spending more than four seconds watching this shit would get the gun and give their television the same treatment that Elvis gave his.

The current blip on the radar screen is a movie...NAY!...a film called Control. Since I spend 99% of my days with my own head lodged up my own ass, I wasn't even aware that this movie...dammit...film was even a reality until I saw a link on CD Universe's top seller list. That's pretty indicative of how far out of the loop that I am, but then again, it's not like it would have played at the local film house (not enough special effects, too few explosions, and Jessica Simpson doesn't have a role in it, etc.) and provoked me to the point of going to the theater.

Figuring that I would have little or no chance of finding it locally, I was already planning on ordering it and impatiently awaiting its arrival. This is pretty much the way of the world when you live in a small town. Due to a stout dose of boredom, I thought I would check out Best Buy's site to see if local pick-up was an option. It's never been in the past, so why would I be insane enough to think it would be the case with this DVD? Desperate times call for desperate measures, my friends. I was shocked beyond shocked when it certainly gave the appearance that it was indeed available at the local Best Buy. I had already prepared myself that it was just some kind of psychological bullshit to get me into the store and then it wouldn't be on the shelf. The old bait and switch tactic. Steering my vehicular device to said location, I was pretty much blown away to find not one, not two, not three, but four copies of the DVD on the shelf awaiting me to pluck one from the four and trot my happy ass to the check-out counter.

Knowing the basic framework of Ian Curtis' story as well as Joy Division's music, I knew that it wouldn't exactly be the feel good hit of the summer. It's not. I have no clue how much of it has been embellished for theatrical consumption or if historical accuracy went right out the window, but I thought it was well done and it will no doubt receive additional screenings on my blackest and bleakest days. Hell's bells, maybe even on the really sunny days that need to be toned down a notch or two. I'm guessing that it's not for everyone as Joy Division isn't exactly for everyone, but I highly recommend checking out the film and definitely looking into the music of the band.

My own discovery of the band happened completely by accident. Many years ago, I was flipping through the stack of used (and usually abused) albums at a local shop. By this point, their selection was pretty well past its prime and it was usually a waste of time to look not to mention even stopping by the shop in the first place. Luck was on my side that particular day as a couple of album covers grabbed my attention based on the cover art.

For reasons unknown to me, I thought I'd heard of Joy Division in the past or maybe simply read the name in interviews with other artists. Regardless, with each album a mere dollar each, it was worth the chance of stumbling upon something worthy of my attention. As it turns out, that two dollar investment was a wise use of the money. I finally got around to giving Unknown Pleasures its first spin sometime in the small hours of the morning. I wasn't fully prepared for the impact that it would have, but the album completely captured my mood at that particular time. By the end of "I Remember Nothing", I was pretty much hooked.

Based on that initial spin, I was ready to check them out live, buy their entire catalog and do what every self-respecting fanboy does upon discovering a new artist. I checked out the Closer LP the next day and found that the previous owner had tucked some magazine clippings in the sleeve. I read through them and was stunned to learn that my chances of seeing them were shot down in flames as Ian Curtis had hung himself in May of 1980 and that, for the most part, I was holding their musical catalog in my hands.

On the days when life hands me lemons and listening to Pink Floyd just isn't depressing enough, listening to Unknown Pleasures and Closer makes me feel like the hollowed-out black hole of death. It's rather nice actually.

Shadowplay.

Atmosphere.

She's Lost Control.

New Dawn Fades.

Love Will Tear Us Apart.

HOLY SHIT!

It's National Donut Day!!

Um, U Don't Need No 'Brella

Bloggy says: This is fantabulous!





MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.


This too, is fantabulous!

Another Folded Sticker Prophecy: Revealed On YPS!!

The Folded Sticker says...

Oddly-Shaped Packaging.

Grimey's...a damn fine place to purchase music while in Nashville, Tennessee

(photo courtesy of Tommy Lee's Scrotum's fancy ass phone)